Halloween is a time for make-believe, dress-up and delighting in all sorts of youthful exploits.
But it’s also a time for ghosts. Make that hot ghosts. These handsome denizens of the afterlife may not be the first thing that comes to mind for most during the autumn season, but for us it’s always been our most favorite thing about the holiday.
There are so many popular (and high-quality) movies dedicated to All Hallows Eve—The Nightmare Before Christmas, Scream and of course the ever-present Michael Myers and his Halloween series are great examples. But we’re here today to pay special tribute to a few flicks that sparked somewhat of a sexual awakening and opened us up to the idea of just how glorious a spirit of the dead can be.
Nobody has to make a ghost hot, you see. They usually come in the form of a cartoonish cutout, like the aforementioned Nightmare Before Christmas, or dressed in colonial garb and George Washington-style wigs as seen in Harry Potter. To make a ghost a beautiful physical specimen is to go the extra mile, and to give a beautiful gift to the audience. Our first foray into the realm of ghost fantasies was none other than Thackery Binx.
Hocus Pocus was an instant classic, not just for the dramatic undertaking that was the Sanderson Sisters, but also because it helped children all over the world see that you don’t have to be of this world to be a babe. Thackery Binx (we’re talking about boy-ghost Thackery, not cat-ghost Thackery) had everything: tousled hair (with the perfect ’90s center part), soulful eyes and a shirt that was permanently unbuttoned just so. Not to mention his tormented soul! They say women are always attracted to a man they can fix, and ain’t no problem that needs fixin’ more than being stuck in ghost purgatory for centuries.
But he also had a sensitive side—he dedicated himself to his sister Emily in such a way as to make you the perfect combination of impressed and jealous. Would we ever be able to compare to Emily? Who knows, but we’d like to find out…with both our shirts off.
And then there was Casper. Ohhhh Casper. We could get lost in your baby blues for hours. In fact, the scene in which the cartoon ghost is revealed to be the hottest boy in the history of all the hot boys might be the most-played moment of our youth. We want to be in a ballroom spinning around with Casper for all eternity. Who cares that he dresses like he got half-ready for a Shakespeare play in the 1600s? So long as his hair never changes.
Sure, he has some pesky family members that have to be factored into any possible ghost-human relationship, but who doesn’t? Have you seen his lips? Those are worth hundreds of drunk uncles.
We thought about prefacing the tribute to Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense with a spoiler alert, but if you don’t know the ending to this movie by now then we don’t know where you’ve been. Dr. Malcolm Crowe was such a perennial babe. He practically invented the chiseled jaw, and somehow his receding hairline makes him even more attractive. Plus, it’s just so endearing to watch a ghost who doesn’t know he’s a ghost. Dr. Crowe also taught us that being attracted to power and success doesn’t stop with dead people. We’re equal-ghost-opportunity elitists.
Finally, we give you Sam Wheat. The original hot Ghost. The hot ghost who started them all. He’s decidedly more badass than the others, what with his dealings in crime and getting shot and whatnot. But he’s also the most age-appropriate, so crushing on him gives the added bonus of feeling decidedly less creepy. (He’s still a ghost, after all).
The O.G. hot ghost also gave us the O.G. hot ghost sex scene, and we haven’t looked at a pottery wheel the same way since. We thought about trying pottery ourselves, but is it really the same if a spirit of the afterlife doesn’t visit to touch you sensually?