RIP: Here Lies Everything That’s So Over In 2017

Once upon a midnight dreary, as we pondered weak and weary, we realized that 2017 was a year rife with goodbyes.

It’s been a hard year for all, not the least of which was anything in pop culture. So many of our favorite trends and couples and works of art did like the ghosts, goblins, vampires and Thackery Binxes of yore and…died. 

Yes, now it is time to say the long goodbye as they head for the long nap. We shall think of them every year on All Hallows Eve, as the Druids and the Celts and their ilk come out to celebrate this dark holy Holiday. As the toils trouble and the fires burn and the cauldrons bubble, we will pay homage to the pop culture milestones of years’ past.

Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor. Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. The world is used to celebrity couples splitting earlier and more often than their non-famous counterparts, but there are a few relationships that we hold as sacred and solid as a rock. 2017 decided to laugh in the face of all of that belief in love. If Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson ever break up, we don’t know what we’ll do. 

The end of Mindy Kaling’s namesake show has been in the works for awhile now, but that’s not going to make the final episode any easier to get through. At least we have a mini Mindy to look forward to. 

You know the drill by now so don’t even bother asking if she can come to the phone. 

Remember all that fanfare when American Idol ended? All the hoopla that was made over the final episode, all the nostalgic look-backs? That was a funny joke. 

There was a time when the country collective ran straight to the movie theater every summer weekend, but 2017 was the year that people decided…not to. Maybe it was Netflix, maybe it was sequel overload, maybe it was heavy-handed Rotten Tomatoes grading, but either way those glory days are over. 

iPhone X? More like iPhone-Give-Us-All-Your-Money. There used to be a time when buying a new Apple product was less costly than taking out a mortgage. What happened?

Because Here Lies Hannah Horvath felt a little too morbid. Lena Dunham and her cast of very eclectic Brooklyn characters may be long gone from HBO, but the mark they left on raves and accidental nudity will last forever. 

Alexander and Ella Clooney, we gather you here today to tell you about a time long ago when your dad used to party. 

Never has there been a wardrobe item so ill-advised and yet so hilarious all at once. It’s probably better for society that the male version of the romper didn’t catch on the way all those bros from Maryland hoped it would. 

We know, the body isn’t even cold. But the only way to get over the once-possible-and-now-completely-impossible third Sex and the City movie is to move on immediately. 

Pretty soon there won’t even be a generation that knows the meaning of “what’s your screen name?”


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