Sometimes, we are real easy to please.
Give us a scene with Stevie Nicks singing to a bunch of witches and follow it up with a glimpse of the Murder House and we’re just clapping and giggling and gasping like we’re not watching a thing that also just featured some Achilles heel-slashing and some hellish disemboweling. All we need are ladies in flowy black dresses scheming against the anti-Christ to the most soothing musical tones and we are happy as clams no matter what else is going on.
Tonight was mostly about Michael (Cody Fern) undergoing the tests of the Seven Wonders, which Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) agreed to after having a terrifying vision of the (zombie?) apocalypse. She told the warlocks Michael was the next Supreme, but really she just wanted to see how powerful he really was, since he’s clearly very bad news.
She also used him to get back the last of her girls. She had Michael rescue Misty (Lily Rabe) from hell, where she’s been since she failed the last test back in Coven. Once she was back, she claimed her mojo was a little gone, so Cordelia called in the big guns. That’s when Stevie walked in, threw the doors open, and nursed Misty back to health with her voice.
Cordelia then pulled Madison (Emma Roberts) aside with a mission to go and seek out information on who Michael really is. An eavesdropping Behold (Billy Porter) asked to join, since he has his own Michael suspicions, and that’s when we learned exactly where they’re going: The Murder House.
According to the promo for next week, they’re pretending to buy it so they can investigate the spirits inside, and lo and behold, they find Jessica Lange. We’ve literally never been this excited, unless you count how excited we were to see the witches two weeks ago.
In less exciting and extremely not surprising news, we learned that Michael, the non-robot Ms. Mead (Kathy Bates), and head warlock Baldwin (BD Wong) are all working together, planning on making Michael the next Supreme so he can destroy the witches from within. Or at least that was Michael and Mead’s plan. Baldwin just really wanted a dude to be in charge for once.
Anyway, come back next week to watch us lose our minds over the full return of the Murder House. Til then, we’ll be streaming us some Stevie Nicks.
American Horror Story: Apocalypse airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX.