That included being asked in interviews how it felt to be a young, gay man and being introduced as such while presenting an award for an LGBTQ organization.
“I understand that they didn’t really know better,” Totah wrote. “I almost felt like I owed it to everybody to be that gay boy. But that has never been the way I think of myself.”
She said she worried about confusing her fans, but had an awareness early on.
“When I was five, long before I understood what the word gender meant, I would always tell my mother that I wished I were a girl,” she wrote. “Since I could speak in full sentences, I was like, “Give me a dress!” I always knew on some level that I was female. But it crystallized about three years ago when I was a 14-year-old watching the show ‘I Am Jazz’ with my mother.”
“I Am Jazz” is a docuseries which follows the life of transgender teen Jazz Jennings.
Like Jennings, Totah wrote, she decided to medically transition.
Now she says she plans on continuing her career as she heads off to college.
“And I can only imagine how much more fun it’s going to be to play someone who shares my identity, rather than having to contort myself to play a boy,” Totah wrote.
“I’m going to gun for those roles, be it a transgender female or a cisgender female. Because it’s a clean slate — and a new world.”