First a death, now a new life.
Modern Family is clearly doing it all this season, as just a couple episodes after we learned that DeDe Pritchett (Shelley Long) had passed away, we’ve now found out that Haley (Sarah Hyland) is pregnant!
The news came out after Haley got her lipstick stuck all the way up her nose during a round of bumper cars with Dylan (Reid Ewing) and had to go to the emergency room, all because they were trying to prove they were grown up, mature adults by being the oldest people playing games at the carnival. Haley and Dylan (the father? probably?) had to find out from the nurse, who was a little weirdly casual when she realized her patient had absolutely no idea what was going on.
Haley had been feeling insecure after Luke (Nolan Gould) used his new psych class knowledge to assess his family’s personality types and declared that Haley was a Peter Pan who didn’t want to grow up, so she and Dylan were going to go to a 4 1/2 hour play before deciding bumper cars were a better, much more adult idea.
As fun as it was to see Haley’s eyes go real big there at the end when the nurse told her the news, we can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to watch Haley figure out the pregnancy herself. She’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, and we wouldn’t have been shocked to someday see her on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. A true missed opportunity.
But regardless of how she found out, this is going to be wild. Haley as a mother is one thing, but if Dylan’s the father, that’s like a whole show in itself. His solution to the lipstick up Haley’s nose was to try and hit her from the other side! He’s gonna break this child! And what will they name it?!
Elsewhere tonight, Mitch (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cam (Eric Stonestreet) had adopted a chicken, and while Cam pretended he loved the chicken, Mitch pretended he didn’t love the chicken, and didn’t love going to the feed store to pretend he was a farmer. Cam then got rid of the chicken by pretending a raccoon had gotten her, and then throwing her over the fence of a chicken farm, and honestly this made us a lot sadder than it should have.
Jay (Ed O’Neill) and Gloria (Sofia Vergara) argued while trying to get Joe (Jeremy Maguire) to eat vegetables while Joe did his best to manipulate them both, but honestly the thing that killed us was Jay trying to referee a soccer game without a whistle, and just by yelling “Whistle! Whistle!”
And finally, Alex (Ariel Winter) is up for a government job that requires a family interview, which obviously went very, very badly because Claire (Julie Bowen) wanted to fix the interviewer’s notes and Phil (Ty Burrell) learned that he was a Russian spy (a Russian spy…named Phillip). Naturally.
Modern Family airs Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on ABC.